Everyday People
By: Lauren Webber
Photo by: Lauren Webber
As a seasoned, yet growing, conversationalist majoring in communications, I have come to understand that engagement with others is not only preferred but necessary to a healthy and, by common standards, successful life. Over seven billion hearts simultaneously beat and contribute to the known human existence – not considering those before as well as those to come. The opportunity to enhance the richness of our lives with simple interactions is renewed with each morning's sunrise. The intricacies of our souls blossom after being nourished by intentional, interpersonal connections. The feeling of discontent when exchanging in mere formalities with someone exposes our desire to fully know others and to be fully known by others.
While grabbing drinks in Pasadena, I stumbled upon a coffeehouse which I had never been. I stood and gazed, apparently unconfidently so, at the menu until the barista interrupted and asked if he could help. After we agreed on a drink, I stood (embarrassingly) disengaged as he prepared it. It was not long before he serrated the silence of the empty shop:
"Is this your first time here?"
I acknowledged that it was, and we began discussing the area. I was not from Pasadena, but nearby as was he. By the time he topped off the iced vanilla charcoal latte with a splash of oat milk, I learned that he is from Bolivia and moved to the U.S. a while back before settling into the Los Angeles area about a year and a half ago.
I finished my coffee outside with my friend and before leaving, we headed back inside to browse more of the shop. We stumbled upon their merchandise, and she and I debated the purchase of a sweater; a different barista chimed in with thoughts and approval of it. As we returned to the counter with our additional purchase, the previous barista offered us a sample of their Vietnamese cold brew and all four of us stood there, laughing and engaging in what could have been a simple exchange of money and product; instead, we exchanged an extension of our childlike and innate hunger to connect, communicate and interact. I did not leave with a gifting of uninspired yet successful customer service. I left with pieces, as tiny as there are, of another human being that I can add to my collection of organic, genuine encounters.
There is this idea in the Holy Bible that each individual was created to form a specific "body part" in the composition of the "body of the Church" - the Church being God's kingdom and ministry on Earth. In the same way that an arm does not function identically as a leg yet remains as necessary as the former, so does each individual. The function that every person has to contribute does not diminish the uniqueness of human life but rather enhances it. Even though there are two arms, one is on the right and one the left: our similarities relate us while our differences define us. Understanding that each life adds an unparalleled aspect to the world should be reason enough to propel us into deepening our daily encounters.
While at the market, I stopped by the deli counter to pick up some flank steaks. I noticed the woman waiting beside me was purchasing boxes full of crab legs. The pure amount of meat she was purchasing shocked me into curious conversation.
“Someone’s cooking good tonight,” I suggested, still unsure of how she could be serving that much food to one family.
She was not as amused as I was as she informed me that it was not for her. She runs a catering business, and someone had requested food for their event the night before. We shared a few more slightly uncomfortable moments before I asked if she had a business card. The air lightened. She showed me her Instagram page, and I told her I would contact her if I ever needed her service. We left the conversation having networked new business and harvested small talk that transcended a polite smile and nod.
Behind every coffee bar, deli counter and possible place for causal interaction lies the opportunity to engage with everyday people. Our increased technological consumption and expanding individualism has decreased our ability to fully immerse ourselves in the relationships that are waiting to or already exist. We have created a culture that does not stop to greet one another more than a, “Hello, how are you?” If we have been able to conjure the time and ability to do that, our responses do not stray far from, “Well but tired and busy. What about you?”
There is never a moment that we are not communicating: our silence says something. Our avoidance conveys the message that we do not want to engage – communication exists whether words are exchanged or not. We have the ability to expand our communities, strengthen our current affairs and build new relationships. We can foster interactions that inspire one another to grow, thrive and live our lives in rich abundance and vibrant depths. The people we dismiss through formalities can transform the way that we experience life and engagement – to truly live and not just exist. In order to do so, we have to be willing to step out of intimidation and isolation and into interaction.